Ok so
Grendel is a starving Somalian with elephantitis
Grendel's mum is Angelina Joli with bigger tits
And Beowulf is like "I AM BEOWUUUUUULFFFF!!!!!"

I always imagined Grendel to be this gigantic troll with huge muscles and a thick gray skin and a huge amount of razor sharp teeth like a fucking shark.
And I always imagined his mum the same, only bigger, and with breasts.
And I always thought the story was about.. manliness.. strength.. primordial forces fighting each other... a genocidal fucking gargantuan beast fighting a hero that doesn't care wether he wins or loses, because everything is better than dying of old age.
Not.. some hollywood shithead beating the fuck out of a giant warty anorexia patient.

Whatever happened to good creature design?
I mean.. look at the work of Ray Harryhaussen, his cyclops looks fucking awesome!
Sure, nobody ever mentioned that cyclopses have goatlegs.. but it does look cool!

And whatever happened to the times that good movies didn't have to cost allot of money?
You know.. putting some fancy 3D-motion-capturing testicles on someone's body so the computer captures their motion etc. etc. doesn't cost any talent.. it just costs money!
Just spend allot of money on something and it will automaticly be good.

"The Fly" was just a big puppet and he looked fucking scary

You know.. the best movie I've seen in a while.. was Korean
it was called "The Host"
The storyline was great, the acting was great, the creature design was good, I just fucking loved it.
It was refreshing to see some unfamilliar faces for a change, and it was good to hear another language for a change.
And besides.. they thought THEIR OWN story instead of using an old one and making it absolutely uncool.

Seriously.. I bet the only ones that are going to see the movie are people that are like "I HAD TO READ THIS STORY BECAUSE SCHOOL FORCED ME TO, I HATED IT, THE MOVIE IS BETTER!"

I wasn't even forced to read it.. I was probably the only bloke in class who knew the story when I first read it..
I'm just the kind of nig that reads stuff like Gilgamesh instead of Harry Potter

also tatzelwurms are neic

BEHOLD, FAGLORDS

HELLO EVERYBODY, HOW ARE YOU DOING?

ok, at English class I watched "THE INCONVENIENT TRUTH" by Al Gore.
It sucked.

No really, people have been shouting "THE CLIMATE IS CHANGING" for decades (no exegeration here) but when a famous politician does it IT IS CONTROVERSIAL AND BIG NEWS.

Ok, well my viewpoint on the whole climate issue is that the human race will survive it. We're like cockroaches, we survive almost everything.
So I thought "HMMMMMMMM, MAYBE THIS DOCUMENTARY WILL BE A TOTAL EYE-OPENER TO ME, OH MY GODDDD"
I was wrong, my opinion hasn't changed one bit,
despite the fact that the documentary was propagandic as all hell.

Let me give you a brief summary of the stuff I saw.

First.. the greenhouse effect was explaned by a cartoon by Matt Groening
which sucked
because the good man lost all of his humour, he's a cow that's too old to lactate anything worth drinking.

Then Al Gore showed us some statistics showing that the climate is changing dramaticly.
Well okay

And later Al Gore told that his 6 year old son got hit by a car, and he said that you don't realize that you can lose something that's dear to you if you never lost it or something like that.
...
...
...
...
Not sure what he tried to tell us.. maybe he thinks all of our children should get hit by cars so we realize the importance of our planet.
Or maybe he just wanted to add some emotion into his "documentary".

He also told us that he lost the elections and that he thought it was TEWWIBLE :( but still had the manly courage to live with his defeat and yadda yadda yadda we don't care.

At one point, we saw some nice animations of how some countries would be flooded because of the melting icebergssssssssss.
One of them being the Netherlands being totally flooded...

WELL MR. GORE, PRETTY DAMN ACCURATE MY GOOD MAN!!!1111!
Now here's a question for you

What would the Dutch do if the sea level would be rising?
A. Build better and higher dykes
B. Stand there and drool, while we wait until we die a sailor's grave.

WELL, B AFCOURSE, WE WOULD ALL DIE BECAUSE WE DUTCHMEN HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW TO BUILD DYKES, SERIOUSLY, WTF IS A DYKE?!

You know.. that Hans story... with the hole in the dyke...
That story is written by an American

So I guess Americans assume that our dykes are either made out of cardboard or out of lego.

...Maybe a documentary about dykes would've been allot more useful than a documentary about global warming.

And then it was followed by allot yadda yadda yadda and blablabla trees dying thanks to bugs.. which is pretty neat and OOOOH
we see some photos of animals that died in the last thousand years or so

including a picture of a DODO

Well... that's another thing involving us Dutchmen..
Dodos are not killed by climate change.. they are killed by a diffirent natural disaster..
THE DUTCH

yeh.. we Dutchmen are horrible.. we exported loads of jews during WW II, our country got really, REALLY rich by selling slaves, we did some nasty things in Indonesia, we promised the Moluccans land and they never got it, AND we killed the dodo!

Yep... every time we went to India we always visited the isles of Mauritius along the way, and ate some nice dodo birds.
Why? Because the sailors needed to eat, and the dodos were really REALLY fucking easy to catch.
The fat stupid birds were on the top of the food chain on their little island, so they became fat.. and stupid... that's why they're called dodos.

However, it wasn't really a feast to eat dodo-flesh. Their meat was tough and nasty.
Funny thing is, in the Dutch language the Dodo gots two names, "Dodo" and "Walgvogel", the latter meaning "repulsive bird".

So.. yes.. that's my review of a movie that is a complete waste of time.
Whatever your opinion on global warming is.. wether you think we should drasticly do something against it or you think we should just let it happen.. this movie won't change or motivate your point of view.
Go read a decent book instead...

schuurmeisterw: Oh hello good sir, glad to see that you are online
schuurmeisterw: You see, I work for this animation studio and saw your portfolio
Wonchopmonkeyman: k
schuurmeisterw: and I just wanted to tell you that YOU SHOULD STOP SUCKING SO MUCH DICK
schuurmeisterw: FOR FUCK'S SAKE
schuurmeisterw: HOW GAY CAN A MAN BE?
Wonchopmonkeyman meldde zich af om 21:18:22

YOU'RE HIRED

I recommend it to everyone

===============
Score: 10 / 10
Summary: 10kuuk
Review: this is shit you faggots 9078t7t48t4y7t7
===============

The moderator kidray76 gave the following reason for the ban:

"Stop going around insulting artits, callin someone a faggot isn't anice"

===============
Score: 10 / 10
Summary: Very neic
Review: Continue your astoundishing work you slut
===============

The moderator kidray76 gave the following reason for the ban:

"did you have to call the artista slut?"

===============
Score: 10 / 10
Summary: FUCK YOU
Review: WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THAT SNOW DOING THERE FAGGOT?
===============

The moderator kidray76 gave the following reason for the ban:

"Ban extended for repeat abuse and derogotory language. Stop calling artists faggots"

Kidgay you daft cunt.
Learn how to fucking spell.

Also, I call sinista a faggot all of the time, and he calls me a faggot, because we are faggots.
And zhavas is the best person in the entire fucking world and we call each other sluts, cunts, dicks, assholes, shitheads, dicksuckers, etc. all of the time.

You didn't protect anyone from getting insulted, all you did was fucking some ants like the shitty little fuckface you are.
I really feel like pushing you into a nest of those man-eating marabunta ants.
Hopefully they'll eat your flesh while undead nazis force you to drink their piss.
Fuckr!!!1

I HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES AND YOUR SHIT
FUCKING DIE IN A HOLOCAUST ORGANIZED BY NAZI PTERODACTYLS THAT SPAWNED FORTH OUT OF THE GAPING ANUS OF YOUR PIGMOTHER YOU FUCKING DOG
I HOPE A GIANT FETUS-IN-FETU PENTETRATES IT'S ACID LIKE SPERM INTO YOUR FUCKING THROAT YOU MISERABLE IGNORAMUS OF A MAN
YOUR MOTHER WAS INJECTING HER FUCKING EYEBALLS AND TITS WITH HEROINE, CRACK, ASBESTOS AND THE MENSTRUAL BLOOD OF INNOCENT CHILDREN WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT OF YOU YOU MISERABLE MUTT
NAUSIATING FOOL IT IS TIME FOR YOU AND YOUR KIND TO BE ELIMINATED KEEP WORSHIPPING YOUR SHITTY GOD YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR ME AND MY DICK OF FURY
FOR WE ARE IMMORTAL AND YOU ARE THE WEAK MONSTRESITY THAT MUST BE SLAUGHTERED IN THE NAME OF MOTHER FUCKING NATURE

MOTHERFUCKER

I AM FUCKING DUNGEON MASTER
YOUR
FUCKING
GUIDE
IN THE FUCKING REALM
OF FUCKING DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS

Alvin-earthworm banned me from his news page :()

Also sprite movies are complete fucking shit, rofl

in other news

I worked the entire goddamn summer on a cartoon and it's finally done :3
However, I won't release it today.

It shall be released on SEPTEMBER 11, A MAGNIFICENT DATE, INFACT, A CATALONIAN HOLIDAY.

So errr yeh keep your eyes open on 9/11

HERE IS A SCREENSHOT