Ok so
Grendel is a starving Somalian with elephantitis
Grendel's mum is Angelina Joli with bigger tits
And Beowulf is like "I AM BEOWUUUUUULFFFF!!!!!"

I always imagined Grendel to be this gigantic troll with huge muscles and a thick gray skin and a huge amount of razor sharp teeth like a fucking shark.
And I always imagined his mum the same, only bigger, and with breasts.
And I always thought the story was about.. manliness.. strength.. primordial forces fighting each other... a genocidal fucking gargantuan beast fighting a hero that doesn't care wether he wins or loses, because everything is better than dying of old age.
Not.. some hollywood shithead beating the fuck out of a giant warty anorexia patient.

Whatever happened to good creature design?
I mean.. look at the work of Ray Harryhaussen, his cyclops looks fucking awesome!
Sure, nobody ever mentioned that cyclopses have goatlegs.. but it does look cool!

And whatever happened to the times that good movies didn't have to cost allot of money?
You know.. putting some fancy 3D-motion-capturing testicles on someone's body so the computer captures their motion etc. etc. doesn't cost any talent.. it just costs money!
Just spend allot of money on something and it will automaticly be good.

"The Fly" was just a big puppet and he looked fucking scary

You know.. the best movie I've seen in a while.. was Korean
it was called "The Host"
The storyline was great, the acting was great, the creature design was good, I just fucking loved it.
It was refreshing to see some unfamilliar faces for a change, and it was good to hear another language for a change.
And besides.. they thought THEIR OWN story instead of using an old one and making it absolutely uncool.

Seriously.. I bet the only ones that are going to see the movie are people that are like "I HAD TO READ THIS STORY BECAUSE SCHOOL FORCED ME TO, I HATED IT, THE MOVIE IS BETTER!"

I wasn't even forced to read it.. I was probably the only bloke in class who knew the story when I first read it..
I'm just the kind of nig that reads stuff like Gilgamesh instead of Harry Potter

also tatzelwurms are neic